Ok, I get it. You’re a masters swimmer. Pushing the boundaries of human potential is for the young folks. That ship has sailed – you’re simply here to enjoy yourself and get a little exercise. The workout plan is just a suggestion anyway. Maybe you aren’t feeling it today, and you’d rather hang out on deck chatting with the lifeguard. Maybe what you really need to do today is go relax in the hot tub for an hour. We’re all adults here: do what you need to do.
But seriously guys, can we establish some kind of minimum standard? I know you aren’t paying me to coach you to a world record, but can we at least act like I’m in charge? Even part of the time?
In the interest of creating a more focused, organized, and serious training environment, I have compiled the following list, detailing all the ways in which you guys are driving me up the wall. Disclaimer: While I took pains to acknowledge everyone’s unique contribution, I could not realistically include all of your submissions. On the other hand, some individuals made the cut more than once.
So here it is: Coach’s Pet Peeves
You think you know more about swimming than I do.
You don’t kick. Then you throw on a pull buoy and I have to remind you not to kick because it’s a pull set.
I write a drill set to address a specific technical issue with your stroke, and you don’t show up for workout.
I’m about to introduce my carefully crafted main set, and you get out of the pool because you have an 8:00am.
You talk while I’m explaining the set, and then when I call out “red sixty” you ask “what are we doing?”
I’m tightening the lane rope and you soak me with your flip turn (forgivable).
I’m tightening the lane rope and you jump into the water and soak me (unforgivable).
After a 1500 freestyle, you ask “Susie, can we work on flip turns?”
You stand up on the bottom of the pool 5 metres from the wall instead of finishing your reps properly.
You stand in the middle of the lane after each rep so nobody else can finish their reps properly.
You swim up the middle of your lane and annoy all your lane mates.
You decide to go on your own pace time and annoy all your lane mates.
“Susie, can I do the next round pull?”
You cheap out on all your stroke drills.
I instruct everybody to go ten seconds apart, and then you leave five seconds after the leader and sprint until you can comfortably draft.
You actually know more about swimming than I do.
Legacy Masters Swim Club 
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